


Perhaps in Another Universe (We Could Have Been Together)

by QuidditchNerd99



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, ArthurPendragon - Freeform, Boys In Love, Camelot, Fluff, Heartbreak, KingArthur - Freeform, M/M, Merthur - Freeform, Mutual Pining, Pain, Pining, Post-Season/Series 01, Requited Love, Season/Series 02, Set in late season 1/early season 2, just a bit of fluff, mutual love, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-02-23 12:09:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23744521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuidditchNerd99/pseuds/QuidditchNerd99
Summary: Crown Prince Arthur, heir to the Throne of Camelot, keeps kissing Merlin, his servant, without explanation. And though Merlin's magical abilities have saved them countless times and though both he and Arthur are destined for greatness, he can never tell the Prince that, can he? So serving the Prince, being seen as a servant, Merlin cannot be with Arthur, no matter how much he wants to be. So who is going to break the news to Arthur?NEW: Translation into 中文 available by the wonderfulAbigailAppleby! Thank you so much! ❤️
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merthur
Comments: 12
Kudos: 63





	Perhaps in Another Universe (We Could Have Been Together)

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文-普通话 國語 available: [也许在另一个世界（我们能在一起）](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24571543) by [AbigailAppleby](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbigailAppleby/pseuds/AbigailAppleby)



> Hi guys, I really wanted Merlin and Arthur to be together but this fic kind of wrote itself. Also, this was a 1 A.M. rant and so I apologize for any spelling errors or mistakes made - or even if this whole thing is just total garbage. Let me know if you find any mistakes! Anyways, I hope to be writing happier ones soon.

It started out… well, Merlin was going to say simple, however confusing, complex, or even complicated would be better adjectives for the scenario he was currently subjected to. Stuck in a dilemma he couldn’t talk to Gaius, Gwen, or even Arthur (but God, did he ever want to talk to Arthur – maybe confront would be the better word) about. He was soon to become certifiably insane; jumping out of his skin at the slightest noises, rapidly spinning around to ensure he wasn’t being followed, he couldn’t even fall asleep without inspecting his room and drinking a heavy sleeping draught, developing a twitchy eye and a level of klutziness and forgetfulness that even _Arthur_ was noticing.

*********************************************1 Week Earlier***********************************************

“And I cleaned out the stables, finished scrubbing the floors, and polishing your armour. Oh! And I found another rat lurking in your chambers, although I won’t cook it for dinner for you again. Gosh, that was not a pleasant experience. Remember eating the rat? The expression on your face – I would have laughed for days if it were not for the fact that I was then subjected to the torture that was eating the rat. Although, that experience was not as bad as being pelted in the face with overripe food. Who throws potatoes? I swore that my face would have been bruised – if not broken – for a-”

“Merlin, will you just _shut up_ already?” The Crown Prince of Camelot’s tone containing a blend of both irritation and a tinge of anger broke through the manservant’s ramblings.

“Sorry Sire, I apologize deeply. I promise to not say another word. I’m truly sorry for offending you, Sire. If there is anything I can do… And I promised to be quiet, oops. I will be quiet now. Once again, I offer my profound-” Merlin was once again cut off although in both a much nicer and yet ruder approach than the Prince had done previously.

The feel of soft lips covering his own startled Merlin into silence. It was the briefest of pecks; a brush if you will, before the sensations were over. Speechless, he stared at Arthur, eyes demanding an explanation when his words wouldn’t come forth. But instead of answering his wordless question, the blond bent down once more, capturing Merlin’s lips in one more gentle caress before he straightened up, haughtily glancing down at his servant before demanding for more chores to be done.

“Finish cleaning the drapes and then clean up this food. Oh, and Merlin?”

“Yes?” The raven answered, heart pounding in his chest.

“Once finished, you may help me get ready for bed before leaving to your own chambers.” Arthur spoke in such a dismissing tone, as if nothing had just happened, as if their kiss(es!) had not just happened, that Merlin’s heart break was almost audible. Yet, to Arthur, he was just a lowly servant meant to obey the Prince, not some powerful warlock who was destined to protect Arthur, who was destined for greatness, and for that, all Merlin could do was agree with the Prince. No witty quips or banter, no blatant arguing or disrespecting the rules, no speaking his mind. And Merlin hated it. Hated how degrading it made him feel. How taken advantage he felt. And yet, he could say nothing of his unjustness out loud. And he hated that the most.

Keeping the tremors from his voice, he said the only thing he could say; “At once, my Lord.” Feeling the sick churning in his stomach, as if he had eaten one hundred rats and lemons, as he forced those hated words out. Perhaps in a different universe they would have been considered equals. Perhaps he could have told Arthur his magical secret without fear of execution. They could have been best friends, closer than anyone – and though in this universe Arthur did consider Merlin a friend, he still treated him as inferior to himself. And yes, Arthur had done some remarkable feats and favors for the warlock, but still the way he treated Merlin to his face was maybe not quite as a servant, and it was most definitely not as an equal. And although Merlin understood that with such an awful father as King Uther Pendragon and having hardly any people or friends in his life who weren’t manipulating him for money or power or status, it was difficult for Arthur to understand what a true friend acted like – that he couldn’t treat their friendship as a one-way deal where he could demand anything from Merlin and get away with insulting him constantly – ridiculing him in front of the whole Court of Camelot, letting everyone else mock him and even take credit for his success (even though he knew rationally that he couldn’t otherwise it would mean imminent death, as well as Arthur didn’t know it was Merlin’s magical doings – he was itching for people to know he was capable of amazing feats, to not be treated like common dirt) and Merlin got practically nothing out of their friendship. It just wasn’t fair. And now, with Arthur kissing him, toying with his emotions. One moment gazing at him like he was the world, the next, ordering him to finish his chores. And Merlin hated that he was so weak as to want to kiss back.

The next incident – as he would prefer to call it – occurred two days after. Just enough time for Merlin to believe that the Crown Prince had thought nothing of it but not enough time for Merlin to forget about it, to stop replaying the situation over and over in his head.

Walking down the corridor, on his way to muck out the stables (what a surprise – said no one ever) a strong hand firmly gripped his wrist, using his own momentum to spin him into the dark little alcove but even the dark couldn’t hide the golden shine of Arthur’s hair. 

“Arthur, wha-” The young warlock once again cut off, this time the kiss was deeper and longer. Warm lips encompassing his own, their passion clear in the sudden ministrations. But as soon as it had started, Arthur was shoving him back into the hallway before disappearing, the stunned sorcerer unable to follow. 

And _wow_ , was that kiss ever incredible. But though it made Merlin want his Sire more and more it made him feel equally dirty. That Arthur saw him as some cheap slag. Someone who wouldn’t reject his advances because he was so desperate. Someone who Arthur could have his way with, someone who wouldn’t push him away because he was seen as just that pathetic. It was just so difficult to sort his emotions. On one hand, his ever growing attraction to a certain knight could not be extinguished, on the other, the shame, anger, and disgust in himself were beginning to become stronger than the other happier emotions. And though he tried to forget it, Merlin knew that he would end up with a broken heart. Whether he ended this, whatever it was, now or later, and the amount of pain and heartbreak inside of himself would have been enough to keel another – lesser – man over in a heartbeat.

The next time Arthur surprised him was in Merlin’s own room.

A soft knock reverberated around the small room as Gaius opened the door. Merlin was holed up in his own chambers, door closed, yet he could still hear the, albeit muffled, conversation between the two. 

“My Lord,” Gaius began, “How good it is to see you.”

“And you, Gaius. Would Merlin happen to be here? I must talk to him.”

“Of course, Sire. He’s just in his bedroom. Would you like me to lead the way?”

“No, thank you Gaius. I know the way. That will be all for tonight.” 

A few muffled footsteps and a tentative knock were the only warnings he had before the Crown Price strode into his chambers. Thankfully he had cleaned his room earlier that day, all presence of magic hidden from sight. He stood up at the sight of the blond mop of hair peeking through his doorway before suddenly holding an armful of Arthur as he knocked the two back onto Merlin’s bed using the momentum of his tackle with a muted sigh of _Merlin_. And oh, did it ever feel wonderful. The whole weight of Arthur’s body pressed up against his own – heavy enough to pin Merlin down but not heavy enough to crush him; muscled enough to hold him down but not muscly enough to be bulky and uncomfortable. _They fit together_. With the press of Arthur’s body, lips, and hands against his own, Merlin had to struggle not to release any accidental magic. Arthur released his lips from Merlin’s own, suckling on his neck instead. But with the release of a soft moan Merlin couldn’t contain, the spell was over. Both men scrambled away from each other. And with another soft _Merlin_ from the Prince, voice filled with longing and pain, the young Pendragon, heir to the throne of Camelot, whirled away, striding out of his chambers. Gone. And the silence felt oppressive.

************************************************Present**************************************************

Honest-to-God, Merlin swore he would confront Arthur about these little occurrences, however, though the Prince kept planting them on his unsuspecting person, Merlin had been having troubles coming face-to-face with the young Pendragon. Either he had chores to do – either assigned by Arthur or Gaius – or the former was out on a stroll or dining with the King or some other reason. Currently, Arthur was in a meeting. Some strange beast was spotted on the outskirts of Camelot and he and his knights were to hunt and kill it. Therefore, Merlin decided that it would be a perfectly fine time to fetch some more water as well as some more polisher as the tin he had for Arthur’s armour was running dangerously low. Alas, as Merlin was making his way down to the armoury to fetch his supplies, a muscular arm banded around his waist, pulling him into Arthur’s bed chambers before shutting the door behind them. Instantly those lips that Merlin had been shamefully fantasizing about descended onto his face like the parched man to a water well. Somehow Merlin managed to gather the last remaining strength in his body, pushing the Prince away. And as Arthur started coming after him again, the sorcerer spoke in his clearest, most powerful tone, willing the other man to cease in his actions.

“Arthur, stop. Now.” And as the Royal Prince stopped, shock evident in those blue eyes, Merlin collected his racing thoughts enough to wrangle some sentences out of his mouth. “Listen, we need to talk.” Arthur cocked his head to the side, resting his hip on his bed, appearing to listen. “I don’t know what you are doing but this has to stop. I can’t do this anymore. It hurts too much. And if you order me to continue or anything like that you can find another servant to toy with.”

The hurt look on Arthur’s face mirrored his voice. “Is that what you think I was doing, Merlin? Toying with you? Do you really think you mean so little to me?”

“I… Yes. Yes I do, Sire.”

“And I’ve been hurting you? Is this true?” He questioned, eyes glistening with emotion. Arthur looked down at his cuffs, fiddling with the hem; the first time Merlin had ever seen him look so broken and unsure of himself.

“Yes, Sire.”

“Oh God, and I never asked for your consent. It has never been okay. Merlin,” He rushed towards the younger man, ready to embrace Merlin in his arms, to comfort him. But the pain in his expression was amplified by a tenfold when the sorcerer flinched away from contact. “What have I done?” The horror was plain to hear in that broken, pained tone.

“I… My Lord, I should have spoken up earlier. For that I apologize.”

“No, Merlin, you aren’t to blame. You shouldn’t have to apologize to me. I never gave you a chance to speak, did I?”

“I didn’t mind the kissing, Sire, in fact, I really liked it. But it made me feel so dirty and ashamed of myself. It made me feel like you see me as some sort of easy person whom you can get to do anything for your person because I was that pathetic and desperate. And I know I’m not but the way you treated me made me feel like that’s what you think of me as. Some sort of pathetic, cheap miscreant that you can snog whenever you like because you own them and that there will be no consequences to your actions.”

At that, Arthur was compelled to speak, wanting to convince Merlin that he was not some useless throwaway. “Merlin, I could never think of you that way. You are one of the smartest, funniest, honest, and loyal people I have ever met. It makes me proud to know I am one of your friends. That you are one of mine. Someone I can trust and respect. Someone who isn’t afraid to speak out or put me in my place, even when I punish you. I need you in my life Merlin. I’m truly sorry that I started out by kissing you, but I really haven’t had any experience with emotions like these and though I see now that my actions were wrong and wholly unwarranted, I know and have known for a while that I have love you, Merlin. And nothing will change that. And if you will have me, I will be yours.”

With tears pooling in his eyes and a heavy heart, Merlin turned towards the golden-haired knight, not wanting to speak what he knew had to be spoken.

“I love you too, Arthur.” And the smile on Arthur’s face broke Merlin’s heart even further when he knew he must continue. Because as much as he wanted to leave it at that, where maybe they could have taken their relationship further, it would only break later, something neither of them could afford. “But for us there are no ‘happily-ever-after’s’. We don’t always get what we want. And in this case, though I do want you, Arthur Pendragon, truly, I do, a relationship will not last and I cannot subject either of us to the heartbreak and fallout that will occur.” The crestfallen look on Arthur’s face started the train wreck that was the two men becoming blubbering messes. “I cannot be your sidepiece. And before you say that I won’t be because yes, I know you Arthur, I will. I cannot produce an heir, and you as royalty will be expected to produce one. This is a duty you cannot shirk. Not only that, but being with a servant will be severely frowned upon by everyone and we have greater destinies than being the center of Camelot’s gossip and potentially anger. I’m so sorry, Arthur. I can quit my role of manservant if you would like, but I can’t do this. I’m so sorry. But please know this; I love you, Arthur Pendragon, so much it hurts. And I will do everything to protect you. And maybe in another universe we could be together, but not this one. Not right now. But you will be my one true love and I will always be here for you. But for now… Well, would I be allowed to take a few days off to recollect my thoughts? It might be best for both of us.” And after receiving a mute nod from Arthur, he slipped out of the chambers, a soft _‘I love you’_ slipping out, though while just closing the doors, he heard the Prince echo the same response back, their pain mirrored in each other. But though this would be a rough spot for them, their love would make them stronger. They would always be there for each other. Tied together, intertwined strings in the tapestry of life. Two sides of a coin. They would be okay; Merlin just knew it.


End file.
